Who's it going to be if Andrew Bailey can't go?

So it's just about a forgone conclusion now that Andrew Bailey won't be able to start the season on the DL with a bad thumb. Prompting Bobby Valentine to throw out this Jay Leno esque joke,
"No thumb wrestling's allowed. We took that out of the program. The worst thing about it is, the other old adage is they happen in threes. 'Stop it, mom. Don't say it again.' That's what my mom always used to say."
Fucking gold, Bobby. Keep it up...

But this injury news brings up two questions. 1) Why would the Red Sox bring in a guy who since his ROY season hasn't thrown over 50 innings? And 2) Who will the closer be in Bailey's place?

The answer to the first is a series of complicated, intersecting excuses. The likes of which cannot be explained.


Alfredo Aceves
This second question we should be able to figure out pretty easily. There's only two guys that legitmately could do it. Alfredo Aceves was a jack of all trades last year and has the stuff to be a great replacement. Mark Melancon had over 20 saves for Houston last year and was the projected set up man going in to camp.

But Aceves may have to be ready to start if Beckett can't go and while Valntine has already come out and said that Beckett shouldn't miss any starts - it's a long season and the Red Sox will have no problem pushing Beckett back if he feels the slightest bit of discomfort. 

Mark Melancon
So I guess then it would be Melancon. But Melancon has been nothing if not terrible this spring and who knows if he has that new Vulcan change up down pat yet. With Bard set to be in the rotation and Matt Albers so fat that he's been trying to take over Jose Iglesias' vacant locker - the Red Sox may have to turn to, Vicente Padilla?

Vicente "Moonface" Padilla somehow mustered 3 saves in 8.2 innings last season, so it's not like he hasn't been in the situation recently. Nobody else in the rotation would have to change their spots and Padilla would just go back to being the odd man out when Bailey eventually came back (which hopefully isn't very long).

Vicente "Moonface" Padilla
If the Sox need a temporary solution then Padilla is the man for the job. If a long term option is going to be needed then I think Mark Melancon better get to work on the Vulcan change.