The good, the bad & the ugly: The week in review

The Guru
Contributing Writer

It was a rollercoaster ride kind of week in Red Sox Nation. Coming off a 4-6 homestand the Sox hit the road and went 6-3 in Tampa Bay and Minnesota. There was the Mother's Day Mess, late game hometown heroics, frustrating bounces off catwalks, old friend Manny being Manny in Taiwan, a wild one in the Twin Cities and we played another round of "Where in the World is Jenny Dell?".

Let's take a look at the good, the bad and the ugly for the week.

The Good: Dustin Pedroia is the backbeat of this current band of brothers. He's no Ringo, he's more of that wild Keith Moon/Animal type basher. The dependable Pedroia hit over .400 for the week and now is at a cool .335 for the year.

David Ortiz shook off his Dan Shaughnessy induced slump and hit .368 for the week with 3 home runs and 12 RBI. Expect Big Papi to continue to play angry. #shaughnessysucks

Jon Lester, who may be the only man from Tacoma with a Texas twang, continues to fly high, hawk Fords and mow down opposing batters. In his last two starts over 16 innings, Lester has allowed 9 hits, 2 runs and recorded 10 strikeouts to up his record to 6-0 on the year. Maybe we should have put him in the "bad" category because Big Jon is a man, a baaad man.

The Bad: Ryan Dempster's last two starts should be tossed right in the dumpster. Hey, what's Bobby Valentine doing in here? This is where we put things we want to forget. In Dempster's two starts last week he gave up 11 runs, 3 home runs and his ERA ballooned like Josh Beckett's midsection from 3.30 to over 4.30. BBUURRPP

Jacoby Ellsbury is, how would a drunken Joe Namath say it, "sstrruggelliinnggg". Ellsbury is batting .249 — including a 5-for-50 funk over his last 13 games — with a .314 on-base percentage and only one home run. Oh, and he leads the league in stolen bases. So there's that. Ellsbury's agent Scott Boras extorted, "Ellsbury won't get another hit until we get one...hundred...BILLION DOLLARS!" *puts pinky to cheek*

The Ugly: Shane Victorino has missed the last two games because he insists on crashing into things like Lindsay Lohan leaving the package store. I am being serious here, Shane. Just not in a way that's readily apparent. Stop treating outfield play like it's your own personal Jackass movie. I'm not the only one that feels this way. You want to be known as the "Haphazard Hawaiian"?

Joel Hanrahan is most likely done with the Sox, out for at least a year and has a big ugly scar on his arm thanks to Tommy John surgery. If I was going to be out for a year I'd want it to be because of a surgery named after someone with a little more imposing name. Sorry, The Guru won't be in this year, he just had Clubber Lang surgery.

and finally the ugliest of all uglies we give you...

Tropicana Field is the worst field in all of baseball, football, soccer, lacrosse and cross country wrestling. Hell, it's not even in Tampa, it's in St. Pete. The Rays have no fans, no money, a fish tank in the outfield and catwalks crisscrossing the roof which cause problems in the actual playing of the game. I beseech you Emperor Selig, move this team to Las Vegas, Montreal, Puerto Rico or do I dare say...Boston? Note to self: write next blog about Boston getting another baseball team.

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