Derek Jeter to retire; Final game will be at Fenway

(DGA Productions)

New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter announced Wednesday that the 2014 season will be his last.

Here comes another endlessly nauseating Yankee farewell tour.

The Yankees captain made the announcement via his Facebook page (apparently he couldn’t log into his MySpace account)

“I’ve experienced so many defining moments in my career,” the statement said. “Winning the World Series as a rookie shortstop, being named the Yankees captain, closing the old and opening the new Yankee Stadium. Through it all, I’ve never stopped chasing the next one. I want to finally stop the chase and take in the world.”

This final limping lap around baseball is going to be ten times worse than Mariano Rivera’s. There will be non-stop Jetervision on Sportscenter, tributes from Doris Kearns Goodwin accompanied by mournful fiddle music across every MLB park, Jeter “gift baskets” for sale on QVC and Yankee fans tossing themselves into the Hudson.

And where will all this Jeter worship finally come to an end? Fenway Park.


Quick, someone tell Tom Werner that any idea of renaming Pesky's Pole after Jeets for a day is a bad one. Now if you want to name the mirrors in the men's room after him that would be more fitting.

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