Top Ten Reasons Manny Ramirez won't last in Tawain

Manny Ramirez has announced that he will sign with a baseball team in Taiwan for the 2013 season if he is not signed by a MLB team before March 7.
Despite his threat, here are the top ten reasons Manny won't make it in Taiwan even if he signs there.

10) Manny will learn that for some reason, Big Papi gave him much more protection in the lineup than his new Taiwanese teammate, Big Sake.

9) "That's just Manny being Manny" sounds so much better in English than when translated to "这就是正在曼努埃尔只是曼努埃尔"

8) Manny will soon learn that there is no Green Monster in Tawain to pee in between innings.

7) Manny will fail to learn his manager's signs and then blame it on the language barrier.

6) Manny will learn that Tawain has a drug problem, but it's not the kind of drugs Manny was hoping for.

5) Manny will learn that it's much harder to apply to be a Tawainese citizen, and, despite asking, they will never give him a tiny flag to run on the field with.

4)Despite explanation from his agent, Manny still doesn't understand how his contract is only worth $5,000 American Dollars. He only knows he signed it for NT$5,000,000. Stupid conversion rates!

3) Manny will get a neck injury early in the season and go on the DL because he is always looking down at his shorter teammates.

2) Manny's long homeruns will go from being known as the more popular "blasts" to now being known as "Sake Bombs!"

1) Manny wanted to get the old dreadlocks look again, so he went for a Chinese Toupee, but he ended up with a Chinese Taipei!

Tweet me or comment and give a reason why you think Manny won't make it in Tawain! I'll post the best one later in the week!
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(Thanks to Rick and Chris)